Life, Love, and Loss I: Ragnarok

by Shoal Lake

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1.
Vagrants 03:27
Beauty in. Emerald eyes. At a Loss for words. Her and I. Caught your name. And desire. Felt the loving warmth. You inspire. Don’t you see? What I am. A mere vagabond. Down and out. Losing ground. Why would you? Even speak to me? I’m worthless. But that’s not how this works. You just can’t predict. When love will find its way. Into your life again. A singular moment. Suspends us in time. If I did dare to move. Would she turn away? I’m too inside my mind. Fear I overthink. Of how things could go wrong. Long before they do. Why can’t I just get out? Of my own way now. Before I force myself. To leave and carry on. I can’t explain why. I can’t explain why. Her aura comforts me. Instills me with the peace. That was never welcoming. Before now. My hope is this will last. Forever and always. Because there’s no turning back. Anymore. Let’s take a chance and see where this goes. This goes. Wherever you lead me I’ll follow. Follow. The world is in our hands now, stand still. Stand still. And bask in the light of what will be. Will be. Vagrants our hearts sang. Vagrants our hearts sang. Vagrants our hearts sang. Vagrants our hearts sang.
2.
We lose ourselves in distance. In the roads familiar cadence. The weight of the world goes away. It’s only us now. There are sights we’ve yet to see. But with the way you look at me. Know this is all I’ll ever need. And that suits me fine. Let’s head where nobody goes. Spend a quite evening alone. Get lost underneath the starlight. Watch time pass us by. Tell me should I take the turn. Or do you yearn for something more. A path that remains untraveled. A new adventure. (Watch the rivers flow. It can lead us there. To anywhere our hearts wish to go. Follow. The night and we’ll find. Our sanctuary. Reserved for you and I alone dear. Hold on.) (Watch the rivers flow. It can lead us there. To anywhere our hearts wish to go. Follow. The night and we’ll find. Our sanctuary. Reserved for you and I alone dear. Hold on.) My entire life. I dreamed of this. Am I deserving? Of such bliss. Will I figure out? Sweet surrender. And shadow its breath. Of wisdom. Drunk from its poison. It allowed me. To let someone in. It feels right. Should this dissipate? Lead us astray. It will still be worth. All the pain. It’s worth everything. (Watch the rivers flow. It can lead us there. To anywhere our hearts wish to go. Follow. The night and we’ll find. Our sanctuary. Reserved for you and I alone dear. Hold on.)
3.
There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you. I just need enough courage to follow through. But deep down I know you feel the same way too. Let’s step into the unknown face something new. (Stand with me. And watch the time go. Can’t believe. She said yes my love.) Underneath. The leaves of the. Eldest tree I swear to you. I will love. You forever. And always. That I promise. Even in. The darkest days. I will be. Holding a light. We’ll get through. There’s nothing we. Can’t do if. We’re together. Look. At. The. Sunrise. Let Fear. Fall. Aside. Suddenly. I can see. The road ahead. Vividly. Quietly. Lost in my mind. Suddenly. I can see. The road ahead. Vividly. Quietly. Lost in my mind. (Stand with me. And watch the time go. Can’t believe. She said yes my love.) (Stand with me. And watch the time go. Can’t believe. She said yes my love.) (Stand with me. And watch the time go. Can’t believe. She said yes my love.)
4.
Perfect Blue 03:03
So this is happiness. What I have been yearning for. And thanks to you my love. I don’t have to ignore it. The skies a perfect blue. But doesn’t compare to you. I wish I could stay here. If only a second more. (I truly hope you know. What you mean to me. When life had lost its course. You became my star. My guide back from the brink. I was lost at sea. I won’t wake from this dream. This is meant to be. You are clarity.) Now that we stand face to face. Words I’ve prepared escape me. Joyful tears stare longingly. At someone undeserving. (I truly hope you know. What you mean to me. When life had lost its course. You became my star. My guide back from the brink. I was lost at sea. I won’t wake from this dream. This is meant to be. You are clarity.) My love know you’re my everything. My passion burns an unyielding flame. Dire days I spent all alone. No longer have to mean anything. My love know you’re my everything. My passion burns an unyielding flame. Dire days I spent all alone. No longer have to mean anything. My love know you’re my everything. My passion burns an unyielding flame. Dire days I spent all alone. No longer have to mean anything. (I truly hope you know. What you mean to me. When life had lost its course. You became my star. My guide back from the brink. I was lost at sea. I won’t wake from this dream. This is meant to be. You are clarity.)
5.
Primrose 04:25
The years have been good to me love. And another gift has been blessed upon us. One that we never expected. But still thankfully it happened all the same. It’s quite amazing what has changed. Two halves of a whole. Losing self-control. New life on the way. A little part of us. (My life feels like its starting. Starting Starting now. I don’t know what could bring me. Bring me. Bring me down. The elation fills your eyes. Your eyes. Your eyes sear. The darkness that loomed over. Over. Over me.) Vividly I remember that night. How the moonlight reflected off your skin. The wanting look displayed on your face. Patiently waiting as I drank you in. How could we know? Where it would lead. (My life feels like its starting. Starting Starting now. I don’t know what could bring me. Bring me. Bring me down. The elation fills your eyes. Your eyes. Your eyes sear. The darkness that loomed over. Over. Over me.) You’ll always be my everything. You’ll always be my everything. You’ll always be my everything. You’ll always be my everything.
6.
Kill Audio 03:58
The clouds above held a foreboding tone. Even so the danger remained unknown. Lessons learned in hindsight come far too late. Is there anything that we could have changed? God above let everything be okay. On my hands and knees I begin to pray. The rain is heavy. The car begins to drift. All is growing dark. And despair settles in. (You were lucky just to make it out alive. What possessed you darling to get out and drive? There’s much more to the story of you and I. What would be left for me if you were to die?) (You were lucky just to make it out alive. What possessed you darling to get out and drive? There’s much more to the story of you and I. What would be left for me if you were to die?) What’s this feeling? That hangs over. Every second. It get gets closer. Numb to the world. Slowly unravelling. Drenched in the worry. I sigh an anxious breath. There’s no relief. For you and me? My fear gets worse. Will I find rest? An honest sleep. Be free to dream. Of better days. Not far away. My love please. Won’t you answer me? My love please. Won’t you answer me? My love please. Won’t you answer me? My love please. Won’t you answer me?
7.
It was haunting. Gut wrenching. As the color left your face. That warming smile. Cold, emotionless. Still in denial. Apart of us. Gone forever. Our chance now taken away. No levity. Lost time and grace. A flame extinguished. Uneasiness. And sorrow. Replace the light in your eyes. Despondency I cannot mend. Or alleviate. There must be hope. We must find. Something to clear the darkness. And as we grieve. Someday we will. Find ourselves again. A melancholy silence. Is all that remains. A Melancholy silence. Is all that remains. A melancholy silence. Is all that remains. A Melancholy silence. Is all that remains.
8.
For the first time in my life. I’m at a loss for words. There’s nothing I could say now. That would mean anything. Suspended in disbelief. The air heavy to breathe. Her face drained of its color. Her eyes a crimson red. Tears fall down. What am I meant to do? How can I help you mend? When nothing can bring back. Everything that we have lost. Feeling weak and helpless. And drowning in our grief. Praying for some relief. But it falls on deaf ears. (You seem so pensive. And alone. Please don’t shoulder this. On your own. Together we’ll share. All the weight. Destiny is what. We create.) Gone is the future. That we could have had. Down in the ether. With all our sorrows. New despondency. Begins to surface. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do. To see you. Smile again. Be free from this. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do. To see you. Smile again. Be free from this. (You seem so pensive. And alone. Please don’t shoulder this. On your own. Together we’ll share. All the weight. Destiny is what. We create.) Let’s not be distant. Let’s not be distant. Let’s not be distant. Let’s not be distant.
9.
What caused the distance? I hear in your voice. Just talk to me. Love please. Will it be okay? Could be the last time. We speak again. Like this. I’m just looking for a way back. Into your life. I know a ghost looms over us. Robbed of promise. Let it all go and I’ll be here. Right by your side. The flame is gone but the fire. Still remains. I won’t let. Us burn out. We can heal. All our wounds. (Ash comes down. Falls like snow. Until we. Are buried. In our sin. No respite. Eternal. Punishment.) Can we save? What is left? Stay the course. Right our ship. I believe. We’re still here. We can bring. The spark back. Leave nothing. Left unsaid now. Leave nothing. Left unsaid now. I won’t let. Us burn out. We can heal. All our wounds. (Ash comes down. Falls like snow. Until we. Are buried. In our sin. No respite. Eternal. Punishment.)
10.
Love torn at the seams. Forlorn and empty. A bitter taste that’s become all too familiar. In this time of disdain and turmoil. Does our spark remain? Have we doused the flame? Has heartless shame drown passion at sea forever? Are we a lifeless shell that bears no name? This wall we’ve built. We can bring it down. Division. Makes no sense. Won’t you open up to me? Let’s leave the past and start over. (Tell me now. Does anyone mean anything to you? At all. Callow soul. Did you forget? You’re everything? I’ll ever need. Please just believe. Open your eyes. Embrace the light. Our love is all. That we have left.) The suffering. Made you this way. Broken and bleeding. Are the hands that promised. To hold you above the. True cruelty of this world. For that I’m sorry. I should have been better. Not the anchor that keeps. You bound to misery. But I’ll give my life. Without hesitation. Just to see you smile. At least one more time dear. Love and loyalty. Are what I have to give. Will it be enough now. Or do we watch this end.
11.
Glass Jaw 05:34
I need someone to save me from myself. Morose. Afraid of what’s not there. Alone. Paranoid of what the silence might bring. The void. Ever growing inside. Consumes. My Light. Two souls slowly drift apart. Two souls slowly drift apart. And it hurts me to know that I can’t stay. I’m sorry. Give me something to ease my weary mind. Anything. This temptation will only dull the pain. Just enough. Allow me to make it through one more day. Feel alive. And it hurts me to know that I can’t stay. I’m sorry. Give me something to ease my weary mind. Anything. This temptation will only dull the pain. Just enough. Allow me to make it through one more day. Feel alive. And so I gave in. But he’s just not you. Caving into lust. Wish I could undo. Hiding my sorrows. Behind something new. This mental game played. Out like I had feared. Still I missed the warmth. Of being wanted. Loneliness, despair. Pulling me under. I reached for the light. And darkness fooled me. Maybe we should end. Leave behind what’s left. All we were. Is going down in flames. Glass jaw breaks. All we were. Is going down in flames. Glass jaw breaks. All we were. Is going down in flames. Glass jaw breaks. All we were. Is going down in flames. Glass jaw breaks.
12.
Is this real? It can’t be. How could you? Do this to us. Do I mean? Nothing now. Cast aside. I’ve been bled dry. What went wrong? Please help me. Understand. How we got here. My heart aches. Slows and breaks. Body shakes. My whole world ends. Spare me the guilt. And fuck your explanations. You found solace. In the bed of someone else. Your once kind eyes. Have just blackened with deceit. Our foundation. Has now crumbled at your feet. I won’t forgive. Your faithlessness. The cause of our. Ruination. You are empty. There’s nothing there. A hole where the. Hearts meant to be. Unfaithfulness made our love finite. Negligence slowly tore us apart. I gave too much for this to crash down. So set my soul on fire, cleanse me. Watch it burn. End a life. A stranger. And a wife. Take it away. Take it away. I have no name. Crossing the line. Crossing the line. No turning back. Give into pain. Give into pain. You are worthless. Sweet misery. Sweet misery. You deserve this. Blood does stain. Once hallowed ground. The silence. Is unnerving. Honest hands. Greet vile means. Love and loss. Are what I give. Blood does stain. Once hallowed ground. The silence. Is unnerving. Honest hands. Greet vile means. Love and loss. Are what I give.
13.
Ragnarok 05:34
Is this me? Thoughts are clouded. Veiled in disbelief. In my hands. I hold nothing. And stare through the red. Intertwined. With who I was. And who I am. (I believe. There’s no meaning. There is nothing left. Calcified To the point where. I have no feeling.) All we were is now in flames. Slowly turned to ash. The wind carries us away. But I can’t forget your shame. The look on your face. Seared inside these hollow eyes. Now I see the end in sight. Abandoned by light. I give into the madness. This is my decent. Destroy what’s left of me. Separate my heart. I have no need for it. If we could do this over. I’d just fuck it up again. So I’m though with finding peace. Because it doesn’t exist. The promises that were made. Underneath the elder tree. Crescendo onto the floor. In a twisted harmony. Silently. Drowning in. The pain of my thoughts. Silently. Drowning in. The pain of my thoughts. Love marked with guilt. And forever stained. With melancholy. Drink all this in. The bitterness has. Taken what was left. Breathe in the lie. Let it consume you. And free you from this. Unforgiving. Existence we share. Embrace the darkness. (Goodbye dear. You cast me aside. When I leave. I know you won’t mind. Goodbye dear. You cast me aside. When I leave. I know you won’t mind.) (Nothing left to keep me here.) Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here. Nothing left to keep me here.

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The third album from the Lexington, KY Post-Hardcore band Shoal Lake.

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released June 1, 2021

Dillon Baudendistel- Vocals
Dylan Conner- Guitar
Jay Conner- Drums

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Shoal Lake Lexington, Kentucky

Dylan Conner-Guitar

Dillon Baudendistel- Vocals

Jay Conner- Drums

Caleb Nicholson- Bass

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